#nowplaying Sail By The Stars - I Wish I May, I Wish I Might
it's been 2 hours and still ongoing since someone (I choose not to say his name, for keeping his privacy and of course mine c: ) asked me about my past. he asked "are you still be trapped in your past?" pretty nice question, dude! there're two jerks who stalked my blog for a long time, so i wanna explain to them too, cause of course i don't need and don't want waste my time to get involved in theirs (again). So both of you (two jerks who stalked my blog for umm.. i don't know what their goal is) read this post carefully and obviously with your fvckin own eyes and head, cause this is IMPORTANT post. here's the answer...
im not trapped in my past, but im trapped in a trauma. which requires a long time to kick all of 'em out. you know, it just like there's a big fear, pretty cool damn fear when you wanna make a step, a step to a new life, your umm maybe great life. as a personal experience, I'm sure you stand exactly where I stand. we've been there, we've done that. we meet the right people, but then we scare them away. Sometimes im officially disturbed by this feeling, but it doesn't matter, i can handle it as long as everything's gonna be okay, i mean "everything" in it refers to a thing that makes me scared. here it is, my terrible mistake. and im absolutely not ashamed to admit it...
im not trapped in my past, but im trapped in a trauma. which requires a long time to kick all of 'em out. you know, it just like there's a big fear, pretty cool damn fear when you wanna make a step, a step to a new life, your umm maybe great life. as a personal experience, I'm sure you stand exactly where I stand. we've been there, we've done that. we meet the right people, but then we scare them away. Sometimes im officially disturbed by this feeling, but it doesn't matter, i can handle it as long as everything's gonna be okay, i mean "everything" in it refers to a thing that makes me scared. here it is, my terrible mistake. and im absolutely not ashamed to admit it...
For several years ago, when i saw and made a relation with him, i think to myself "this is the one and this is perfect" i made assumptions of the right person at the right time with the right amount dedication. but in fact, who is right? when is right? how much is right? there's no right, too soon to said that he's the one, the right one, even the perfect one. i haven't gained enough knowledge to know that this person IS in fact perfect, i just couldn't see it yet. and in the end you will hear the phrase "nobody's perfect" yap he's gone ups! much better to say he's dead, i guess!!!!! But no worry, i will not leave you with only this horrible story. eventhough i damaged, broken down, crashed, betrayed, beaten, or defeated before. i have no care whatsoever with him anymore, i'm moved on. now i just care with mine, especially you, the one who asked this question :)
Hugs&Kisses,
Frida
Posted by
0 comments:
Post a Comment