“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a

father’s protection.”

—Sigmund Freud

more than a letter

Dear dad,

I couldn't fathom that i would ever be without you. when you left, i lost a part of me. I missed your voice and your strong arms around me. who's gonna accompany me when i can't sleep? who's gonna accompany me to watch a new movie when everybody busy with their own life? who's gonna teach me how to drive well? who's gonna tell me that math very important? who's gonna remind me to study algebra? and who's gonna buy me a stunning dress? ....and so on :( i know you were not a perfect one and neither am I, but now i'm begging you please don't leave, i'll do anything to keep you, right here with me, can't you see how much I need you?

God, listen.. tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go

God, save him.. I would do anything in return

ps: I'm still your little girl and proud of it.

♥,

Frida

"Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds, they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material."

happiness?

Hey Jealousy!

Tell me do you think it'd be all right
If I could just crash here tonight
You can see I'm in no shape for driving
And anyway I've got no place to go

And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I'd ever had
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might not be alone

Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place
Hey Jealousy

And you can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
If you don't expect too much from me
You might not be let down

Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you

no one wants to deal with jealousy, as well as me. everything just happens from inside of me, and unfortunately I was not able to control it. honestly, it is so annoys me, and in the end I have to deal with my own self about what I feel.

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

HAPPY 3rd MONTHSVERSARY, PRAMIS!

♥

Frida

ART!

5 feet under the hell

Hey pals, how are you doing? long time no see.. like i said before in my several last posts, i'm very busy with my fvckin college's. this couple of weeks successfully dragged me off into the hell hole, really messed up. it started from 8th November, my (first) midterm week. if someone asked me "by the way, how's your midterm frida? easy or difficult?" and the only answer is "PRETTY-DAMN-KEWL BABY, THANKS FOR ASKING!!!" honestly, i did all of the questions well done. but after that there was a lot of accident happened and as usually i did nothing, just busy with my own thoughts. well, moving on.. forget about it, i don't wanna remember it again. Essentially, that is a miserable week. Next, 15th November.. i was hoping this  would be a much better week buuuuuuut... i was totally wrong!!!! the toughest problems came this week.. and i didn't even know what's my mistake? where's my mistake? that's a big deal, that's unfair!!! then I turned into a very very sensitive and emotional, disturbed something which doesn't fit with me. moreover, i have not met my boyfriend yet since two weeks ago, wish he was here with me cause he is the one who i wanna share with. he is the one who understands me so well. and he is the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear.. you knooooooooow what? i miss him like a hell. i need his hug, a tons of his warm hugs :( i hope what he feels same as me. and today i felt insecure, i didn't know why today i feel so blue, maybe cause my boyf didn't gimme a text and call or maybe just too tired of drama LOL. i think i have to take a rest, my body's getting hawt. G'nite ppl..

♥,

Frida

hug

i miss you more than every words i say, ♥PRMS!

♥ PRMSBNTRWBW

p.s: these words are my 2nd monthsversary's present! :D

"if you don't like me, face me. Don't be a jerk who talks someone else in their back. you´re so fake, lil girl. i bet on your neck is written made in china."

Repeater Beater

hello my stunning blog, i miss you so damn mucho, like we know that college things are always sucks, huh? dan yang lebih parah nya lagi nih... gue kehilangan imajinasi gue teman-teman, entahlah gue rasa sepertinya imajinasi gue yang malang itu minggat karena gue lebih memilih tugas-tugas kampus daripada dia. dan dia blm balik lagi sampe sekarang :(( padahal imagination is more important than knowledge, please bring my imagination back. yeaaah, dosen di kampus gue bener-bener anti-mati-gaya, baru jalan sebulan lebih tp tugas gue udah berjejer layaknya pasukan demo di depan istana negara rabu kmrn, satu blm selesai dikasih lg, blm selesai lagi, dikasih lagi lagi dan lagi errrrgh *kayang* untung gue punya temen-temen yang bisa diajak berkonspirasi hehehe.. lemme tell you about 'em, They're Asya, Ito, Kity, Jazzy, Marina, Chintya, Mukhlis, Rio, and Ibnu. (eh kok kaya ada yang kurang ya? udah kesebut semua blm ya? gue lupa, ya kurang lebih itu lah, yang blm disebut namanya maaf ya, protes gue aja kalo ketemu c: ). Mereka.. eh, Kita maksutnya.. adalah GDMD ---> Geng Demi Masa Depan (Geez! i don't think so, it sounds weird.. ah whatsoever, moving on, cheesy!) banyak tugas-tugas yang "sengaja" ga kita kerjain untuk menutup tugas lainnya dengan alesan "aduh, tugas pak x udah lo kerjain blm? gue ga ngerti nih disuruh ngapain, gausah ngerjain aja yuk" atau "tugas pak x susah deh nyari referensi nya, ngerjain tugas pak y aja ya, tp beneran jangan ngerjain jd besok di kelas pas doi nanya sok-sok cool aja" atau mungkin "aduh besok jakarta banjir kalo gue ngerjain tugas pak x, jd gausah ngerjain aja ya" (yang terakhir jujur gue ngarang hihi jayus dikit) okay.. setelah mencapai kesepakatan mufakat, tersebar lah sms: "teman-teman.. tugas pak x gausah dikerjain yaaa, besok sok cool aja, banyakin nanya abis doi kasih materi" dan setelah itu beberapa sms masuk dengan balesan yang punya satu tujuan yaitu.. SEPAKAT! Kurang lebih gitu deh kelakuan mereka, tp gue seneng bisa kenal mereka, they're colouring my life perfectly ;)

mumpung gue lg ada waktu nih (yailah belagu amat HAHAHA) sekarang cerita apalagi yaa? umm... lovelife? boleh deh hehehe. seperti yang gue ceritakan di post blog sebelum-sebelumnya kalo gue taken dan off the market, dan sampe sekarang hubungan gue baik-baik aja, sangat baik malah, ya sekali-kali ada problem gamasalah dong, namanya juga hubungan gamungkin mulusss gitu aja kan? Faktanya adalah: "When a couple fights too much, has lasted long and is still not breaking up. then they're really in love" my gummybear knows how to treat his own lady (read: me). I wish I could have spent my days with him, cause a day without him, is like a year without rain :') minggu ini dia lagi sibuk-sibuknya UTS.. dan seminggu ini pula gue blm ketemu, he should knows how much i missed him :(( udah berjuta-juta kali gue bilang sama dia kalo gue kangen, dan berjuta-juta kali juga dia bilang "me too blue, tp profesionalisme sangat dibutuhkan disini" yaaaap gue sangat mengerti keadaan nya, dan gue jg tidak akan membiarkan UTS dia hancur berantakan ;;) SOOOOO, MARI KITA TUNGGU 2 HARI LAGI SAUDARA-SAUDARA *duduk manis*

haaaaaaah, anyway... "under any circumstances, I love him (huge)"

♥,

FRIDA

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

my deathbed

semakin kesiniiiiiiii.....

semakin hariiiiiiiiiiii.... 

semakin gilaaaaaaaa...

gue gakuat, gue capek, gue gatahan, im not supposed to be there.

God, help me :'(

i'm on my limit. and i'm sure that every person does have a limit too. so sorry for my late post!

i do not know why i write this, just enjoy it

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places -- and there are so many -- where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

ps: my next post, all about my hole-i-day! ;)

"Sustainability isn't about the quick fix or the cheap solution. Generally it means making a commitment and trying, as best we can, to honor it. In any worthwhile enterprise, from protecting the environment to preserving a relationship, we are going to encounter difficulties. The good life is not a problem-free life. In point of fact, the process of overcoming adversity often produces some of the most rewarding experiences we will ever have. Human beings need to be challenged to 'test their mettle,' as it were. Throwing in the towel at the first sign of trouble or small inkling of distress may be the easy thing to do, but it doesn't help our self-concept. Most of life's troubles can be overcome if we are willing to work through them with patience."

daydreaming! #2

what time is it? 7:45? whaaaat? gue telaaaaaaaaaaat!!! ada presentasi penting jam 8 dan hebatnya gue baru bangun karena terlalu asik nonton tv semalem. totally bullcrap.. kenapa alarm nya ga kedengeran sih???? setelah melemparkan sedikit celotehan karena ulah sendiri, gue ke kamar mandi, cuci muka, sikat gigi, ganti baju, menyiapkan paper untuk presentasi dan tanpa berpikir lebih lama lagi gue bergegas ke kampus. (ups, ada yang kurang ya? gue ga mandi hihi.. maklum ya, namanya juga udah telat :p) keluar dari lift, doorman apartment menyapa gue dengan sangat hangat "goodmorning miss frida" gue hanya bisa melemparkan senyum dan terus berlari menuju kampus cause there's nothing I can do anymore, gue udah telaaat!!!!!! untungnya jarak apartment gue ke kampus ga terlalu jauh, jadi gue memperkirakan kalau tidak ada halangan di track lari gue, sekitar jam 8:05 gue sampe kampus...

10:15 presentasi selesai. tidak ada trouble selama presentasi berlangsung. gue menghampiri sahabat gue, rere di cafetaria kampus, sekalian membeli segelas hot chocolate dan beberapa potong croissant untuk mengganjal perut, entah sadar atau tidak, gue belum sempat sarapan karena incident pagi ini -__-' when i grab my hot chocolate and 2 croissants, my phone vibrates. i catch it up and yap my gummybear's calling..

bear: "where are youuu hon?"

me  : "campus bear.. what's goin on?"

bear: "what's goin on? forgot something?"

me  : "i guess nope, what's wrong? where are ya?"

bear: "hyde park at 10 am?"

me  : "d'oh! so sorry dear, i'll be right there as soon as possible, xoxo" *call ended*

sigh! bahkan gue melupakan janji menemani pacar gue sendiri city tour untuk keperluan project fotografi nya. what the hell happen with me today???????? Short Term Memory Loss Syndrome? ah! i don't care.. now i have to meet my lovely bear as soon as possible...

eat this shit, mr. shit!

Dear Mr. Shit,

i know you stalk my blog. so, read this. i wanna make a deal with you. i... will... never... bother...  your... life... anymore... whether that's your relationships, your family or even yourself. i don't give a shit. i crossed my fingers. and i hope you to, especially your family. your niece, your brother, or whoever they are, please don't let them interfere mine. now i'm a total badmood because all of you sucks, get a life get a hell out of my life poor fag effing satan fuck. oh one more, don't ever try to bother my family's life or i will break this rule and I would not hesitate to ruin your life. got it, fart fucktard?

Regards,

Frida Riliandhita

pre-packaged robot

hello cupcakes, how are ya doing heh? fine, right? i hope so :) my life gone so normal, i passed the days as usual. static. I just a bit difficult to write a blog, watch dvd's, read a book, or something that uses the brain to think hard. uncreative hit my mind hardly, and like babies poop i can't handle it. idk, my bestfie, ogi said "otak lo bukan suntuk, cuma kurang kontrol emosi aja" and then i got an explanation for it. unhandled self-control? hmmm ya ya ya lets say maybe uh-oh yes, cause he always knows what i feel inside, particularly. hey guys by the way lemme tell you, I'm totally tired of people telling me how skinny I am. but don't worry, I don't have whatsoever eating disorder disease. im lying if i don't care what people said about me, i do care! but i  just do not even know how to gain my weight. pretty ironic! my gummybear always reminds me that i have to gain my weight, anyhow it is.. he didn't gimme a tolerance for this pathetic-thing. 53!!!! nice number honey, and i hope to. but how i caaaan get it? i'm 46, so i need 7 kill-o-gram to catch that one. you know? I've even tried so many different ways. ate before sleep, drank a bottle of milk everynight, and many moreee. like we knew, i've got nothing. i'm still here, with my lovesick 46! :(

UNCREATIVE!!!!!!!!!

"A great relationship isn't when perfect couple comes together, but imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."

my bright yellow monday

gue rela ujan-ujanan, gue rela jalan jauh-jauh matraman-fatmawati, gue rela macet-macetan, gue rela lari-larian dijalan, gue rela diomelin staff addmission kampus karena telat, gue rela dapet test dadakan, gue rela dapet briefingan berjam-jam lamanya, sungguh sangat rela asalkan setiap hari berakhir seperti hari ini...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Frida's now off the market, she's taken!!!!!!!!! thanks for someone who gave me a highlight on my mon(ster)day, iloveyou my beary, smooch ;)

the untouchable letter

Dear Someone,

" an awkward feeling surrounding my self now when i saw the thing i thought as my favorite thing. i want it, but what you want, didn't mean the one that you need. the belief in the existence of something that has no end and will never end, that's what my strengths. who will be the one i needed the most? i thought you, the only one in my list. i need the solitude of your companion. i dont ask more. i just don't wanna be a big liar in someone's life, and also in my own life, i just wanna show you, this is my huge confession."

Regards,

Frida

"Jenuh dengan Kemonotonan"

guys like you make me got a middle finger

not faiiiiiirrrrrrrrrr!!!!! ini ga fair... dan ga akan pernah fair...

kenapa setiap gue berlaku baik ke orang balesannya selalu ga sesuai sama apa yang udah gue lakuin? bagaimana lagi gue seharusnya bersikap ke mereka? apa yang salah sama gue? dari awal gue percaya kalo niatnya memang baik, make a friend, relationship, or maybe something like that. but? they are fake. the unused masks finally opened, we see ourselves against and realize their own stupidity. honestly, im officially tired with their acts. and im tired of being a good person. thanks for knocking my mind. now i won't let my life destroyed by you, little girl(s)!

felt insecure

i don't exactly know what was happening today. it just felt like, i pass this day with lost of grievance , and actually i was the one who keep grieving. i felt lost, losing, it didn't go so well. i just felt tired with anything i saw, and anything i did just felt so weird and so wrong. and this night, aaaaargh sudahlah forget it, it doesn't matter, i don't give a shit with it. but why... the... time... moves... so... long....

now, i need to sleep. since i don't have any support from the person i used to hoping to give, i must stand on my own as i had years before.

night. big day tomorrow, i need to use all of my strength. hope it'll be useful

indescribable letter

Dear God,

how should i think?

what should i feel?

what should i do? how should i express all of my thoughts?

in the end, do not let the time changes my thoughts and feelings...

Regards,

the guilty one

my mood was chaotic. what's wrong? where's wrong?

Repeat after me: "I Love Myself!"

August 30th 2010 - 17:55 - Repeat after me: "I Love Myself!"

#nowplaying Coldplay - Yellow (Accoustic)

gue salah satu orang yang meyakini bahwa "setiap orang terlahir dengan kelebihan nya masing-masing" karena Tuhan Maha Adil. Adil di dalam setiap sisi kehidupan, disetiap kesempatan dan kepada siapapun, tanpa terkecuali. tetapi semua berbalik ke diri kita sendiri, mau melangkah, mengolah dan mengembangkan kelebihan yang kita miliki atau hanya menjalani kehidupan tanpa tau apa kelebihan kita. Bersyukur adalah tahap awal pengembangkan atas kelebihan yang kita miliki. Sore ini gue mendapat sebuah inspirasi dari salah satu penulis favorite gue dan dari tugas "seorang" mahasiswa baru UI 2010 yang cukup menarik untuk diikuti dan dipublikasikan, yaitu menuliskan 10 kelebihan yang gue miliki. Nobody's perfect! yeah… i knew it. but hellooooooo? it's 2010 already. mau sampe kapan kita terus menerus berkelit dengan segala imperfections yang mendominasi diri kita? kadang kala kita membutuhkan confident booster yang datang dari dalam diri kita sendiri, dan disini, di postblog ini gue mau mengajak kalian semua yang baca blog gue untuk mengenal diri kalian lebih dalam, bercermin, tersenyum, dan bilang ke sosok yang ada dihadapan kalian "i love myself"!

I love myself, because…

1. Mampu Mencintai. Martin Seligman PhD, founding director of the positive psychology center di the University of Pennsylvania, said "the key to happiness appears to lie in our internal qualities and character strengths." karakter-karakter kuat tersebut salah satunya adalah nilai plus ini. ya, gue mampu mencintai keluarga, sahabat, dan teman-teman gue melebihi apapun. mereka yang membuat gue seperti sekarang ini, tanpa mereka gue ga se-tough ini :)
2. Peka. gue termasuk ke dalam kerumunan orang yang bisa menganalisa dan merasakan apabila terjadi kesalahan dengan orang-orang di sekitar gue dan lingkungan gue, bahkan kadang dengan analisa yang gue punya, gue sudah bisa menebak apa yang akan terjadi. memang kadang tau apa yang akan terjadi terlebih lagi yang akan terjadi dengan diri gue membuat gue down, tapi gue ambil sisi baik nya, gue bisa memutuskan langkah seperti apa yang akan gue ambil. dan hal ini membuat gue menjadi orang yang lebih bertanggung jawab
3. Creative. Im a Creative person! Gue senang berimajinasi, cukup banyak imajinasi gue yang dianggap insane sama teman-teman gue, tp gue sangat bersyukur gue dapat memanfaatkan kelebihan gue yang satu ini dengan sangat baik dibandingkan dengan mereka yang juga berpeluang untuk berimajinasi tetapi tidak merealisasikannya. Disamping itu, gue cinta segala bentuk kesenian, dari gue kecil tidak sedikit sanggar yang mengajak gue untuk bergabung.
4. Senang bergaul dan Fleksibel. gue membuka diri gue kepada siapapun, dimanapun, dan kapanpun itu. gue selalu senang berkenalan dengan orang-orang baru. sejak gue masih di dalam perutnya, mommy encouraged me to be "gaul" hahaha. mommy bersahabat dengan seorang nurse di rumah sakit tersebut yang kebetulan mau melahirkan juga, (bahkan suster itu pernah kirim hadiah ulangtahun untuk gue :D)
5. Cerdas. mommy salah satu orang yang selalu menghujani gue dengan berjuta-juta alerts nya bahwa gue ini sosok perempuan cerdas. mungkin memang bukan orang yang ter- atau paling cerdas, tp gue cukup berwawasan. gue mempunyai rasa ingin tahu yang tinggi, sehingga gue senang mencari hal-hal baru.
6. Open-Minded. gue bukan tipikal orang yang dengan gampang mem-prejudiced sesuatu. gue terbuka terhadap banyak hal. bahkan hal-hal yang biasanya dianggap tabu untuk oranglain. gue selalu memposisikan diri gue di berbagai sisi, dan melihat segala hal tidak hanya dengan sebelah mata.
7. Suka memanjakan diri. gue suka menghabiskan waktu untuk menyenangkan diri sendiri, walaupun hanya sekedar duduk di depan cermin dan membiarkan diri gue mengagumi sosok yang ada di depannya atau mencemari telinga orang lain untuk memenuhi hasrat bernyanyi gue hahaha but i don't care. according to me, happiness are to be what we always wanna be, and to do what we always wanna do.
8. Caring. gue perhatian dan peduli sama lingkungan dan orang-orang disekitar gue. gue ga akan membiarkan sesuatu yang buruk menimpa mereka. i have a strong  shoulder to cry on.
9. Helpful. gue senang menolong orang, ada kepuasan tersendiri yang tidak dapat tertandingi ketika gue bisa menolong dan meringankan beban oranglain. walaupun kadang gue agak berlebihan dalam menolong oranglain, tp menurut gue membuat oranglain tersenyum adalah sesuatu yang mulia bukan?
10. and the last but not least, im an Unpredictable person. awalnya gue bingung kenapa "seseorang" bilang gue unpredictable person. but hey, he's right. im not able to be predicted, and not easily predicted. i love surprise, gue suka segala macam bentuk kejutan, terutama untuk orang-orang yang gue sayangi. mereka segalanya, dan membuat mereka bahagia adalah tugas utama gue.

Finally selesai juga huh… ternyata memang ga gampang membuat list diatas hehe sempat mendapat kesulitan sedikit tp gue membuktikan kalo gue bisa, i never said i was a good girl, im not a bad girl either, im just normal, that's what im going to be and people loves me. dan bukan hanya gue. tapi penulis favorite gue, dan mahasiswa/i baru UI 2010, mereka berhasil memaparkan apa kelebihan yang mereka punya dan menciptakan confident booster untuk diri mereka sendiri. sekarang giliran kalian, make the list now and prove to the world… gue, lo, kita bukan orang-orang yang worthless.

P.S: special thanks for your supports and inspirations. thousand tons of hugs and kisses. you're my best creative booster, Bear!

enlightenment

"It is only the enlightened ruler and the wise general who will use the highest intelligence of the army for the purposes of spying, and thereby they achieve great results. Now the reason the enlightened prince and the wise general conquer the enemy whenever they move and their achievements surpass those of ordinary men is foreknowledge."

Back Breaker!

August 29th 2010 - 21:05 - Back Breaker

#nowplaying All Time Low - Remembering Sunday

Sunday… hari baik yang biasanya ditunggu semua orang bukan? begitu juga gue, tp khusus hari ini gue berharap (sangat berharap) hari ini menghilang dari calendar. banyak hal yang gabisa gue ungkapin disini, anggap aja suatu hal yang teramat sangat private. tapi intinya, im officially give up! ga kuat dan ga tahan sama semua siklus yang ada, gue mau totally keluar dari itu semua, as soon as possible. gue capek ngeliat orang-orang yang gue sayang disekitar gue perlahan jatuh karena satu orang egois yang gapunya otak dan hati. mungkin kalian ga ngerti apa yang gue omongin, tp gue, mom, and putri tau betul bagaimana rasanya menahan perasaan yang "seharusnya" diluapkan. jujur gue emosi, gue sangat ga terima ketika ada "orang" yang mengusik kebahagiaan mom atau putri, but i didn't do anything, mom melarang. kadangkala gue berpikir ada baik nya putri tetap dengan gaya boyish nya, karena gue selalu berharap dengan gaya hidup dia yang serba cuek dia bisa lebih tough dari kakaknya ketika waktu memaksanya harus berpikir bagaimana menjalani kehidupan seperti ini, terlebih untuk menjaga mom. okay pals, i think no more stories are told today, im sorry, they washed away. talk to you later xoxo

daydreaming! #1

August 27th 2010 - 7:17 am - Daydreaming!

#nowplaying Hellogoodbye - Oh, It Is Love

Dream… is an Important thing for a dreamer, not even just for a dreamer but for all of us, human. According to me, the dream is an art that can't be unmatched. unlimited, free, and real. last night i had a quality time with someone, someone special.  we spent our night with "dreaming". it started with the idea, how it feels to live alone in another country. alone? ups, absolutely no! with the one who i loved, boyfriend, fiance, or my future husband maybe, who knows ;)

in 2014 we have to leave jakarta to catch one of the way to a bright future, our master's degree. in London. after a long debate, we chose to live in a house (klarifikasi: jangan di interpretasikan sebagai sesuatu yang negatif ya, kita ga macem-macem kok, beneran), not so big but comfy. and we decided to makeover that house, arrange the interior of the house, and painted the rooms with colors. shared laughter and stories, stories of ours :) suddenly he called for a war, colors war. we threw the brush to each other. instantly, the whole room into a mess, filled with colors that we inadvertently create. in the middle of the room, i was caught in his arms, then we kissed (oh-so-like-perfect-movie). after that, we bathed our dog in front of the house, i don't know for sure the name of the dog, i just know that's a cute dog (ada yang bersedia kasih anjing nya nama? hihi..) making a long story short, that was time to dinner, he said that he didn't want a neat dining table (jujur gue sendiri gatau apa alasan dia, tp untuk siapapun yang penasaran nanti gue tanya ke orangnya ya) based on his manuscript, i'll make omelette(s), but don't know how to break an egg (that was non-sense! hey boy, im 18 you know) so, he hugged me from behind and taught me how to make it. i didn't hear it, i spun around, and we kissed over and over again (you, who read my blog. don't be envious, k? if you will, you can have your own great dreams) cause it was too late to cook for dinner, we ordered a pan of pizza. finally we ate our (late) dinner. after we finished it, i hugged him while watching tv in our (full of messy colors) living room. i fell asleep on his shoulder, in her arms :) he carried me into my room and that wonderful day ended with a warm goodnight kiss from him.

I still have many ultimate dreams in my head, and i'll try hard to make it happen. one day kids, one day.

So, guys.. make your own great dreams start from today okay?

Hug&Kisses,

ms. koi (lol)

whereeee is bear? where is heeeeee?

August 25th 2010m - 22:55 - whereeee is bear? where is heeeeee?

#nowplaying Incubus - I Miss You

hari ini sakit gue bertambah dengan (kembali) menghilangnya umm… him (feeling gue sih bilang dia ketiduran setelah capek seharian karena melakukan kegiatan yg notabene gue gatau apa aja). eh? wait! lemme eat my cereal first. mommy sudah mengumandangkan suara falsetto-nya karena gue untuk ke-sejuta kalinya radang and eventually dia tidak membiarkan gue makan makanan sembarangan, so she bought 2 boxes of cereal dan a litter of plain milk for me daripada gue ga makan karena ga ada makanan yang bisa gue makan (lah kok kok jadi ngomongin mommy? okay, moving on..) karena terlalu frustrated dan hampir nangis lantaran mikirin perasaan gue, finally i decided to catch my friend up, rere. via instant messenger. particularly, i don't know what is wrong. mungkin karena gue yang lagi "on duty" dan bertransformasi menjadi terlalu sensitive atau memang he was too busy with his own activities? gue rasa keduanya cukup worth untuk dijadikan pembenaran, dan berita baiknya gue sangat memakluminya :)

setelah panjang lebar gue cerita sama rere, rere bilang ke gue "you fly too high, frida" am i? really? dan secara ga sadar gue beneran nangis, sekali lagi beneran nangis! well, mungkin rere bener. i realized something, actually it was funny, but ironic too! funny, umm… why funny? gue terlampau kebingungan, terlampau ketakutan, terlampau panik atas event "tidak ada kabar" dari pihak si penyelenggara. but in fact, who are you, frida? whooo? (see? gabisa jawab apa-apa kan?) ini dia kenapa gue bilang lucu, lucu atas diri gue sendiri. ironis nya yaaa atas diri gue sendiri juga, spesifiknya gini, gue benar-benar serius kali ini. serius sama apa yang gue rasain sekarang, dan pillhan pun sudah dijatuhkan, gue serius untuk kembali melangkah, meninggalkan trauma gue setelah kurang lebih setahun gue pendam, tapi… what can i do to start it? nothing!!! ironic enough, right? hahaha. ga adil memang gue harus menulis blog kaya gini, tp gue cuma mau kasihtau ini lho yang gue rasakan ketika lo ga berkabar. dan bukan berarti gue mau melanggar janji gue masalah essay, assignment, or whatsoever you named it ya… karene gue bukan typical orang yang suka melanggar janji, kecuali kalo udah kepepet HAHAHA. pesan moral: once you made a promise, you must try your best to keep it ;)

You're on March, I'm on July, But We Both In The Same Calendar

August 25th 2010 - 16:13 - You're on March, I'm on July, But We Both In The Same Calendar

#nowplaying MYMP - Say You Love Me

well, last night ogi and i talked about umm… our thoughts about love, eh? no! lebih spesifiknya prinsip dan pemahaman kita dalam menjalin sebuah hubungan, nah!  iya, it's right! :) kalo ditanya bagaimana kita bisa membuka topik ini yaaa gue lah satu-satu nya orang yang patut disalahkan :D gue curcol semalem hihihi ssshhh rahasia ya gi, kalo ada yg nanya jgn dikasihtau nanti gue malu (ah cheesy cheesy, moving on..) eh tapi tapi hebatnya ogi menyadari beberapa hal yang ga gue sadari, and literally dia lebih tau banyak daripada gue eventhough itu tentang kehidupan gue. shocked with his statements actually tapi anak ini pintar ber-diksi, ibarat nya swimming pool nih, dia memiliki kedalaman 3 meter tp dia pasang sign 1 meter, jd untuk orang-orang yang ga berani memijakkan kaki di dalamnya, ketipu mentah-mentah (hahaha berlebihan, tp itulah kenyataan nya, i bet you to try lol) sebenernya kali ini hanya obrolan ringan, dia nasihatin, ingetin gue banyak hal. contohnya "gaperlu sesuatu yang berlebihan kan dalam menjalin sebuah hubungan? yang paling penting itu kedewasaan dalam bersikap dan berfikir" dan gue rasa bukan hanya gue yang menyetujui statement ini, kalian yang baca ini juga kan? ogi sempat mengasihani nasib para lelaki tentang perbedaan antara perempuan dan laki-laki, he said "laki-laki itu memilih kepada siapa dia akan menyerahkan cintanya sedangkan perempuan lebih cenderung kepada siapa dia akan menjatuhkan pilihannya, kasian yah laki-laki, seorang laki-laki juga harus siap ketika dia kehilangan cintanya, bukan nya gue curcol ye" (sabar yaaa gi hahahahaha :p) ohya, ogi juga kasih saran ke semua perempuan yang ada diluar sana "Jangan memilih pria yang hanya menginginkan kulit, ketika dibelakangmu ada pria yang menginginkan daging daripada kulit" how nice he is! ;) dan dari banyaknya perbedaan antara gue sama ogi, ada satu kesamaan antara gue kita yaitu "kebahagian yang merupakan kebahagiaan sebenarnya adalah ketika kita berada di samping seseorang yg berarti untuk kita" suatu kebahagiaan yang tidak dapat tertandingi. iya kan gi? hihi…

uh-oh, wheeeeeerrrrreeeeeee are you beaaaaaaaaar? :( seharian ga ada kabaaaar!!! gue kan lagi sakiiiiit, udah di mayday call tetep aja ga ada respon. aaaaaaaaaahhh bodoo gue ngambek!!!!! (bacanya dengan nada anak kecil yah hahahaha)

p.s: radang, batuk-batuk, dan sesek nafas seharian cukup indah kan yaa untuk dibilang penghias hari ini? :( :( :(